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OFFICIAL SCRIPT OF THE BEST-SELLING VIDEOGAME: "The Island of Infinite Treasures"
CHAPTER 3: The Chosen One
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(The girl opens up her handbag and reveals a trophy, which she hands over to the player while bowing down as politely as possible.)
Girl: "Here, please take this trophy. You saved our developers right before the moment of death from starvation, by paying 10 bucks to purchase this game. Your heroic act will never be forgotten, and in order to commemorate this historical event we decided to raise a golden statue of yours."
(The girl points to the nearby plaza, upon which the player's gigantic golden face shines like the Sun.)
Girl: "You are this island's last hope. You are the only one who can save all of us by killing the evil creature. Please press any key to continue!"
(Several seconds elapse without a key press.)
Girl: "... Since you are a gamer, I might have overestimated your attention span. So please let me reiterate this story in a more concise manner."
(The girl pulls out an iPad from her handbag, upon which a short phrase is written in bold uppercase letters. The girl reads them out loud, while pointing each individual letter with a red stick equipped with a pulsating LED light.)
Girl: "KILL- ENEMY! GET- REWARDS!"
(Player finally figures out where the "any" key is located on his keyboard and presses it. The girl starts to clap, dance, and surrounds herself with colorful fireworks for the purpose of celebrating the player's ability to comprehend the game's incredibly sophisticated narratives.)
(Popup Message): "Achievement unlocked - You know how to follow a storyline!"