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OFFICIAL SCRIPT OF THE BEST-SELLING VIDEOGAME: "The Island of Infinite Treasures"
CHAPTER 7: Something Not So Mainstream
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(As soon as they enter the dungeon's reception room, the girl kneels on the carpet and kisses the player's hand with a light bow.)
Girl: "As a clueless NPC, I have been awaiting for a master like you whom I could depend my life on. I will never forget those 10 bucks you have so generously handed over to us. And because of this, I owe you every bit of obedience my heart can ever commit to offer."
(The girl, still kneeling down, opens her handbag and hands over another trophy to the player. The phrase "Participation Award" is engraved on its lid.)
Girl: "This is a small gift of gratitude we have decided to have an honor to present you. No word would be rich enough to depict the incredible level of patience you have been showing us by still playing this game without immediately visiting Steam to post a negative review."
(The girl suddenly blushes her face and bursts into tears of joy.)
Girl: "You are a man of great virtue, who-"
(Player skips the monologue.)
Girl: (Standing up), "Thank you for allowing us to share your social security number."
(Suddenly the camera shakes itself violently and tilts in an awkward angle. Its point of focus shifts from here to there, creating a grotesque sense of vertigo.)
(A ghastly figurine, which resembles a completely random concoction of creepy-looking dolls and toy parts, appears out of nowhere and screams like a mad cat. It then disappears and the camera resumes its normal state.)
Girl: "Oh, I'm sorry if you are confused. It was a mysterious foreshadowing element intended to convince you that this game is hiding a profound secret which you will miss and regret if you stop playing."