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OFFICIAL SCRIPT OF THE BEST-SELLING VIDEOGAME: "The Island of Infinite Treasures"
CHAPTER 5: The Warrior
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(Player and the girl walk upstairs and enter a closet room. A shiny knight armor reveals itself in front of them.)
Girl: "Please allow me to have an honor to dress you up with my hands. Manual labor is reserved for unworthy peasants like me. A rich, highly educated gentleman like you, who graciously spent 10 bucks to purchase this game, should not be compelled to move his finger an inch."
(A sequence of mildly suggestive animations play out, each of which is carefully designed not to let the game be rated something other than "E".)
(Popup Message): "Achievement unlocked - You found out where the closet room is!"
(Shiny beams of light emanate from all over the player, who is now fully dressed up. His hair turns blond.)
Girl: "You are now a mighty warrior, the only hero in the universe who can handle this special weapon I'm going to show you."
(The girl points at the nearby pedestal, upon which a shiny credit card is laying majestically. Camera zooms in, revealing the phrase: "Legendary Membership" written on its front side.)
Girl: "This enchanted credit card will equip you with the ability to afford anything you want, with additional savings and other unlimited benefits. All you need to do is just swipe it!"
(Player puts his hand upon the card. A dramatic whirlwind surrounds the player and emits vivid sparkles of light, creating a visual proof that this credit card is not being forced to be owned by the player without a consent.)
(Player makes a swiping gesture with the card. Without hesitation, a truckload of cookies appear out of thin air and pile up before the player.)